Catherine Bussiere: 20 / 20

it seems like I’ve been wearing glasses all my life
not allll my life but from about the age of ten, glasses have been part of my features

I remember the yearly eye exam we would get at school
we’d be waiting in line for our turn to decipher series of letters on a board
as I didn’t want to wear glasses (worried by classmates potential reaction)
I would try to memorize as many letters as I could
I don’t think that worked really well

I remember once finding my brothers glasses on the bathroom counter
I closed the door, tried them on, looked out the window

I remember the leaves on the tree
finely outlined, sharp

either I stopped memorizing or got caught with my eyes squinting
one thing was clear, I needed glasses
and I got some

the kids at school were kind
fear had nothing to do with reality

throughout the years I’ve had several kinds of glasses
I remember one particularly ugly pair I wore in high school
– my dad’s pick
they were huge plastic rim glasses of indescribable color
which I hid behind banks long enough to cover them

what I wanted was some lovely delicate rimmed round glasses
which eventually were offered to me as a birthday present
I had the John Lennon look for many years
until those too were replaced

I don’t remember ever breaking my glasses
they were my best companion
on my nose they went first thing in the morning
only to leave as I rested my head on the pillow at night

in the past few year
as I aged
came the need for bifocals
I adjusted to that
I would take my glasses off when I read at night
close to my face the words in my book were sharp

lately though I was having trouble with my camera
maybe trouble isn’t the right word
it was just difficult to find focus
find the right distance between lens and screen and eye
I figured as a photographer I should probably get my eyes fixed
this is my first lens after all
laser surgery has been around long enough
all the people I know that had the surgery done love it
time to invest, give it a shot

and so it’s done
did it last Thursday
it took no time
a quick cut of the cornea
some laser reshaping
flip that flap back

girl you got 20 / 20

how is it?
you happy?

I have to say yes
how couldn’t I
yet I’m not like “wow, amazing”
I’m like “what happened to my super near clear vision”
I want it all
I knew I wouldn’t get it all but still
didn’t quite realize I’d loose that

in some ways I’ve had clear vision most of my life
glasses helping of course
and obviously I will still need glasses
except now it’s when I read

but really how is it?
20 / 20 right now
I’ll tell you
I’ve traded cinematic for HD
I am a romantic
so I’m getting use to HD