that video called memory

Sometimes lately when I go to write this blog I do not seem to have any new pictures and I feel frustrated. I know why I don’t. It is because in my daily life I like to be the lens instead of behind the lens lately. Last week my niece was playing the piano beautifully. I was sitting and listening and I thought “I should go get a picture for the blog. ” Then it dawned on me that in doing that I would miss the moment. Seventeen year olds might only play for a few minutes. I sat still and listened. I wish I had a shot for you of long fingers on piano keys. That lovely  image of skin tone against black and white but I don’t because it is in my mind not on my camera.  I just can’t afford to miss the moment to get the shot.

I still take pictures. I have a nice small camera that fits neatly in my pocket or purse that shoots really good images. I just have been forgetting it is there sometimes and when I do remember I feel like I am leaving the present moment , not enjoying things as they are. Honestly I think this is a good thing, a maturation of sorts for me. I will still take pictures but I think it will be with the intention of taking pictures rather than as an interruption.

For example when I am visiting my little baby friend Charlotte, I only get down there for a half and hour every week or so I want to be with her. Watch how she has grown. See her reach for things, discover her hands, become aware of words. I leave my camera in my purse. Or when I see my daughter and her friends lying with their legs thrown over each other on the couch, or when I see the light hit the orchid on the window sill, or when I see the ice form on the window box, sometimes I am just there and I don’t think I should fight with that. Isn’t that what an artist wants, to be in the moment, to see what is around them.

Yet I want to share what I see. I love it that this blog is read faithfully by so many. I enjoy that instantaneous response on Facebook though I still find the whole Facebook thing odd to say the least….still if you want to join the oddness you can like my Studio Facebook page.(isn’t this ironic?) It surpassed 1800 likes the other day and I felt good about it. Why? Who knows? Just because it is there and I am part of it. I just joined last year and I enjoy posting progress on my rugs, things that go on around me. It is just like a quick little journal. Yet I find it weird that this is how we communicate now. Friends don’t call me much anymore they fb me. We organize get togethers. Today I am going out to a St. Patrick’s Day lunch because a friend face booked me. I would not want to miss the lunch.

So as much as I am a part of the whole social media thing, blogging, fb, twitter, I do not want to miss my life. It is not online that I want to see my life. What if the power goes out indefinitely
( won’t happen, don’t worry, just makin’ a point) and you can’t review your year on fb? I ‘d like to think that I have a movie I can play in my mind, and that I’ll always have that movie cause I lived it and I was there. I smelled it. I saw it. I felt it. I heard it. I was present.

Mind you I ‘ll find time for a few pictures but I’m making sure that there is lots of time in front of the lens, and that my eyes are the lens, and that I am making that video called memory that I can play back just by sitting down quietly for a moment.

Just some shots..

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a weak ode to St Patrick’s Day…..

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9 thoughts on “that video called memory

  1. As always Deanne, a pleasant and insightful read.

    I struggle finding the right balance myself. As the pictures on our photo frame in our family room flip every 10 minutes I find photos I forgot had been taken, photos of my children when they were babies and toddlers or photos of loved ones who have been gone from our lives for a number of years (we scanned a lot of pictures from before the digital age) and I always enjoy the surprise of seeing them and the memories associated with them. And I sadly admit, those once familiar faces are slowly fading from my memory.

    As for orchids, I’m looking at mine right now — no pictures necessary.
    One has 21 flowers (it is a dwarf variety), the other 6. I don’t take pictures of them and I never remember how many flowers each has at their peak, but I always remember the colours!!

  2. I’m reading a good book right now and thought you might enjoy it as well. A Handmade Life by Wm. Coperthwaite. Reminded me of you and some of your thoughtful insights.

  3. I found your blog on Memory most interesting. When I see something beautiful or attend an occasion that is meaningful in my life, I want to capture it on film. Memories that I can look back on now that I am in my OLD AGE are there for me to see . Nostalgia is part of my life’ I am so glad I have pictures even my parents took, that recall days gone by. All in albums or on my computer.

  4. Very we’ll said Deanne. Maybe this is why I never remember to take out my camera when I see things I like

  5. You’ve made some very nice points. I think your right to be in the moment and not always stop for the camera. We need to do more of that and look for more balance.

  6. In commenting, I realize I am now missing my “real” life!, but this is a good reminder, Deanne to savour moments. I had this same thought when my kids graduated. I stayed seated, allowing the milestone moment to wash over me. (Couldn’t imagine using that moment to clamour for space/angle/pose.) You have painted beautiful images here with your words. Thanks for those. I will now shut down my computer and enjoy the sights, sounds, smells, of this amazing day.

  7. Lovely post, Deanne. I’ve been reading your blog ever since the “Dear diary” days. I have to say I’ve always sought out your blog for your insightful, beautifully written reflections on life.

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