everyday miracles

“When all the love of the I and the Mine is dead then the work of the Lord is done.” Kabir

Last night I went out for a nice dinner with Jennifer Manuel. She is here teaching  a workshop and we had a great conversation. When I came in this morning I read one of my little meditations from Sister Stan and it reminded me of some of the conversation we had over dinner last night. So often that happens now, one thing connects with another and together they make both more meaningful. My friend Harry Thurston said human beings are in “denial of the marvellous”. Those words he said years ago keep coming back to me. There are so many tiny miracles in the run of a day.

I like the Kabir quote because I believe it to be true. The older I get, the less concerned I want to be with “self”, the me, the teacher, the artist, the rug hooker. Surely there are more interesting things to focus on, yet we remain quite self centred. Yet the struggle does not go away. We joke here in the studio, “It’s all about Deanne.” I run the website and the studio, do the designs and sort of drive the creativity. For over twenty years I have done this and nearly everyday someone thanks me for my work. My husband  says he has never heard seen anybody get so much praise. I smile at him. I can’t say I do not enjoy it. I do. It would be easy to believe it all if it wasn’t for the fact that more importantly I am a wife, mother, friend, mentor,coworker, sister daughter. It is in these roles that what I do matters most. As much as I love being any artists, the idea of being a good artist does not even compare to being a good wife or a good mother, or a good daughter. It is in being these other things where we are humbled, for these roles require so much more of us. It is in these roles where we are required to give deeply of ourselves on a consistent and demanding basis. It is in these roles where we are asked to put the self aside. I have not always met those demands, regrets there are, but I forgive myself. Forgiveness on a daily basis, is part of being human. It is so often more necessary for me to forgive myself than it ever it is for me to forgive others. Age humbles us. We learn our limitations. At twenty one I felt like a force to be reckoned with. At forty eight I feel a lot more like the thing that is being reckoned with, and you know what, I am glad I feel that way.

So when someone calls and I answer the phone and they say, “I can’t believe you answer your own phone.” I can’t help but reply, “Why wouldn’t I?” For who am I not too? How can it be believed that any one of us is more important than any other. We are all small under the great big sky. As Jennifer said over dinner, “If you are really good at one thing, that probably means you have a serious deficiency somewhere else.” We are all important, each and everyone of us, and our real work is to believe to that we are no more important than the person beside us. This takes work, but I think it is worth it, if you can get the job done well.

So that was the essence of our do inner conversation last night. Then this morning I sit down first thing and read that quote. Everyday Miracles. Simple.

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11 thoughts on “everyday miracles

  1. I would have loved to be a bird on your shoulder when you two wonderful artists got together for dinner. Thanks for the great perspective!

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  2. I was diagnosed as Bipolar 15 years ago. It “came out” when my son told me at 11 that his “friend” was abusing him for 3 years, we went to counseling as a family and it helped him though he still struggles with issues on and off but I will never forgive myself as his mother. Nobody will say anything to change that. I discovered rug hooking a year ago and even though it is not the “everything” in life it has certainly helped my mind and soul to be calmer. Like you said in your video..” when you are pulling those loops and working on a mat, everything seems to be right”. That is probably more than anyone wanted to hear. Just sharing.

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  3. This conversation as it seems to me, is such an interesting aspect as we first and foremost must be true to ourselves. Life presents challenges, miracles ,worries, expectations, joys and triumphs as a daughter first, a lover second, a wife next and a mother as a finale, we work, juggle and struggle to be the best we can possibly be in the specific role we are presently playing. What greater gift, as a woman can we be given in our efforts to guide our loved ones, not by material accomplishments but by the guidance we exemplify in our daily lives. Be true to oneself as a guidance to others.

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  4. Yes Deanne, those everyday, ordinary miracles that we must treasure. Sarah MacLachlan’s song “Ordinary Miracles” embodies this. My friend Wendy Blanchard played the piano and sang this song at my father’s ‘Celebration of Life’, for an ordinary man, doing the best he could in everyday life, keeping it real.

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  5. Well done Deanne, you really put a great deal of thought in to this . Must have been an interesting dinner conversation.. Shirley.

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