Dear Diary, I know that a theme of New Years might be expected today. I just can’t talk about resolutions, and new beginnings. If you have them, I can say that I hope for you. Starting fresh is a lovely idea but I really believe you can do it any day of the year that we do not have to wait for January 1. Every morning is a new beginning, a chance to start again, to make a little change. Change is constant. It is not saved up for the first days of a new year. I have learned that I have to be adaptable. . This fall I started to make lots of changes socially. I joined the library book club, the local curling club, a downtown business committee, and a local radio station. I learned that since my children are growing and no longer need me to be waiting for the bus at two thirty, then I must embrace something outside of that. I have time that I never had before. It is quite shocking to find time open up before you. I never imagined that I would feel a empty nest because I always longed for time to work, time to play. I did though . It came unexpectedly and took me surprise. I missed being a cranky mother with young kids.
For years we were between aging parents, and young children and all the pressures that come with that. Our children are growing and our lovely parents have been gone a few years now. There was no time for the community, and only a little for ourselves, but now time has opened up again and I have embraced it. I sometimes look back and feel a little sad that I was at times a cranky mother, rattled by children running around, meals to cook, visits to make. My son says, “You are so much nicer now.” Then a little while later, he said, “You know I think if you still had little kids running around, you’d still be cranky.” We both laugh, acknowledging the truth. It is easy to look back through rose coloured glasses but the truth is most of us do the best we can with what we have on our plates. For years, my nature was to be a little “crooked”, the Newfoundland word for contrary. More recently, I am less crooked and more sentimental, a little softer. Changing. All of us are always changing. We evolve. We weaken . We strengthen. We soften. We age.
There is no need to wait for the new year to embrace something. Fresh starts can happen again and again, bringing the past along as memory and learning. Fresh starts are ready for you when ever you are ready for them.